crystal_sun396: (our witch)
by Annie Guthrie

I can’t sleep. I feel the globe
making a rotation,
and I’m not supposed to be, but I’m awake for it.

I’m at that age when everyone is talking about the kinds of love
they’ve been using to get by.

It’s a very dark late.
The sound of a towel dropping off the rack

into the bath
carries my name with it.

I get up to turn on the dryer
to block out all possibilities of ever

hearing anything else so
crystal_sun396: (Default)

here in this carload
i am eve
with abel my son
if you see my other son
cain son of man
tell him that i

- Dan Pagis
"Written in Pencil in the Sealed Railway-Car"
crystal_sun396: (Default)
"Autobiography in Five Chapters" 
By Portia Nelson
Chapter I
I walk down the street 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk 
I fall in 
I am lost . . . I am helpless 
It isn't my fault 
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II
I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I pretend I don’t see it. 
I fall in again. 
I can’t believe I am in the same place. 
But, it isn’t my fault. 
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III
I walk down the same street 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I see it is there. 
I still fall in . . . it’s a habit. 
My eyes are open. I know where I am. 
It is my fault. 
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV 
I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I walk around it.

Chapter V
I walk down another street
crystal_sun396: (workworkljwork)
This post is full of whining :(

1. My total GPA just broke the 3.6 line. That's right, in the wrong direction. I did mention I was doing poorly this semester, didn't I? I'm more afraid of my cousin's disappointment than my own.

Why do I even bother with ambitions? It's not like they motivate me. Supremely unmotivated, me.

2. In only moderately related news, I am tired of being my current self and am ready to try pretending to be someone else. You know, again. Because it seems I've turned into that guy I never liked anyway, and I've nearly forgotten why I love the things I do which was the whole point of the weirdo I am trying out at the moment.

Hm, whining. Hopefully you'll see less of this. I'm too old to get my teenage angst on. Thank goodness it's summer.

3. I apparently need to read more 17th century poetry. Or just poetry in general, but I was just recommended the whole of the 17th century. Should keep me busy.

Oh, also this: Song on the End of the World - Czeslaw Milosz. Not related to anything in particular. I... like this guy's stuff? I don't know.

And those who expected lightning and thunder
Are disappointed.
crystal_sun396: (workworkljwork)
Lunch with Caitlin (of CC) for Monday

We poor souls who have long toiled
This waning weekend
And even now still into the ever-aging night
For Contemporary Civilizations (and other obligations)
Will soon bow our heads together
Over our text(books)
As we anxiously prepare for our physics examination
Past homeworks, notes,
Basic equations

Not tasting our dining hall food.

This Monday (today) I will turn in my short essay on Rachel Carson written in simplified Chinese and edited by my lovely roommate, take my first Physics midterm and hopefully not botch that so badly as the Bio one especially if the practice exam was anything to go by (it's a TRAP), and turn in my at-present nine page CC paper about the issues of lies as a foundation of the kallipolis of Plato's Republic that I started last night and finished an hour ago.

I haven't been outside of my dorm since Thursday evening.

I've made more headway in House Harkonnen than I can justify to myself.

I've eaten all of the instant!food I keep around my half of the room except my tasty vitamins because I'm not starving or anything (there are cup noodles for that) but I'm nervous and I eat when I'm nervous. I'm not especially stressed, although my paper could use editing - some time between the midterm and the class, I think.

On Thursday, I made that avocado-tofu dish I do with some really RANDOM ingredient substitutes and everyone liked it so that was a relief (and gratifying).

On Wednesday, I was a grumpy-pants. (But I'm not sorry - I'm just aware. My points were valid even if my attitude could have been... less grumpy. So bite me.)

On Tuesday, well, you know.

My Skype is hating on Lina's, and I have Caitlin-from-school up in the other window, still finishing up her essay which she started today at 7pm waaaaat?, and I think studying would probably just fail right around now so... crawling off to bed.

Earlier than when I went to sleep yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that. Pffft loopy?
crystal_sun396: (laptop)
If thou could'st empty all thyself of self,
Like to a shell dishabited,
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf,
And say, "This is not dead",
And fill thee with Himself instead.

But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes He says, "This is enow
Unto itself - 'twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for me."

- Sir Thomas Browne
crystal_sun396: (Default)
Meme from [ profile] dreadable and [ profile] funeral_song and possible others but that's too far back for me to check. /:

When you see this, post your favorite poem in your journal.

"The Quiet World"

In an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it
to my ear without saying hello.
In the restaurant I point
at chicken noodle soup. I am
adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long
distance lover and proudly say
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn't respond, I know
she's used up all her words
so I slowly whisper I love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

-- Jeffrey McDaniel
crystal_sun396: (Default)
“Earthbound – for, not to, the earth”

All our lives, to death from birth
Spent trapped between the sky and earth
Life through time blurs in sweet haze
We can choose how to end our days

Dearest dearest, I’ll go with you
But there is so much that we’ve still to do
To soar and dive, to crash and burn
All these things we’ve left to learn

The land’s too flat – we’ll take the sky
At the very least it’s worth a try
Why settle for some steady crawl
We claimed our flight, we’ll claim our fall

Leave doubts behind in a nerveless heap
A leap of faith, let’s make the leap
In that moment, throw clutter clear
In headlong dive through the stratosphere

The laws of nature might have lied
They bend or break when I’m by your side
Then summit, plummet, wheeling, reeling
Everything compressed to feeling

And our hopes and fears prove all unsound
- There never was a ground
crystal_sun396: (Default)

Two Years Later
by William Butler Yeats

HAS no one said those daring
Kind eyes should be more learn'd?
Or warned you how despairing
The moths are when they are burned?
I could have warned you; but you are young,
So we speak a different tongue.
O you will take whatever's offered
And dream that all the world's a friend,
Suffer as your mother suffered,
Be as broken in the end.
But I am old and you are young,
And I speak a barbarous tongue.


crystal_sun396: (Default)

December 2013



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