oh seriously you're gonna make mistakes you're young

[crystal_sun396]

More Academia Blah Blah Blah (that's a technical term):

"Be yourself" has always sounded a little strange to me. You know, how it's about not following others' leads, trying to be like other people, etc. But what if "yourself" is the kind of person to try and pretend to be, I don't know, your big brother or best friend or something? I mean, obviously you are, if you are already trying. In fact, there's no way for you not to be yourself, because whatever yourself would be doing, you already are!

(btw answer: wendy doniger. [this entry is a stub] because i'm kinda gone, but you are so missing out, don't let me forget this one)

Hoboy, and we could go into the gender thing (I'm a girl because I've got girl bits and fuck all vs. I fit the social code for "girl" better than "boy" even though I have boy bits perhaps I am a girl inside) but I'm not qualified to talk about this, am I. I'd like to be, I think, but I'm not. So moving on.

Nearly the same way, there's "do your best." What is that? Is that "try really hard"? Is it still my best if I wind up watching cartoons and knitting three sweaters and calling twenty people and tagging back thirty between papers because I can't focus? I was trying to focus, ma'am. That was my best, because obv, if I could have done better, I would have. ... Unless the limit is defined physically, in which case everyone falls short all the time, and degrees of "almost best" are all you can hope for.

By which I mean, fffff I am a sucky student. How on earth did I turn out to be a sucky student? Near-sighted goals are my thing. These exams should be my purpose. I do more on LJ when I need ("need") to procrastinate. Does that disqualify "best"? (Yes.)

I keep getting average. No, shut up. That's a B and I'm premed. Ow, head hurts. One hour nap is a go. And then I will wake up and, ahaha, approximate my best until... I can't stand it anymore. Geez. Making excuses is getting too easy. I believe my own lies way too often. Slippery slope, sucky student m'gal. And already slippin'. Shutting up now. Gee dee ai.

Comments

[spiderstars.livejournal.com]

I am hardly in a position to respond to this with the well-thought-out response it deserves, but I do think a lot of the cute, trite phrases such as "be yourself!" and "try your best!" make very, very little sense when actually thought about. Because you're right -- you can't not be yourself. Every action you take is unified by the "I" of your conscious and that's really the only unity, the only "yourself" there is. Saying "you should stop trying to force yourself to be [X person]" makes a lot more sense.

As for "try your best", well, I try my best quite often and most of the time it ends up not being good enough. By "trying my best" people seem to be saying I should be as good as they think my best should be, not my actual best.

I am not really a cynical person, but I don't have much patience for these phrases. At any rate, good luck with your exams.

oops. the crissy cannot to be grammar good at this time

[crystal-sun396.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha I always think about giving well-thought-out-responses, and then I hardly ever can. So I'll thank you for your words and then, begging your pardon, heartily disagree because a) I find your response entirely adequate and b) I'm not sure these ramblings deserve so much. Kind of just. Brain exhaust in mostly complete sentences for once.

I like your point about saying "you should stop trying to force yourself to be [X person]" to be more direct. In the case of "try your best", maybe "try enough" would be more energy efficient (if guilty of assuming that your best overshoots what is required which... kind of... no? ...Yeah no. Sigh.) I think maybe because these alternatives give less energy and/or are more negative. ...er, give less positive energy?

Even though they don't survive close inspection, I'm sort of fond of these phrases. They are so optimistic about human abilities (and limits!). They're nice to hear (unless it sounds like an impossible demand, as you show). What's another... "trust in the heart of the cards" "believe in yourself!" maybe? Very Pókemon. I hear it and I'm, like, yeeeaaaah! And the RL shuts you down, but meanwhile. Yeeeaaaah!

or. you. or you know. ...OTL. Thank you for the good wishes! You're still stuck in exams too, right? Good luck as well!

[newsboyhat.livejournal.com]

I've always interpreted "be yourself" as "be comfortable with yourself." There is no one way to be comfortable yourself. I'm the first person to say that everyone should be a work in progress (that is, one always has room to grow, reflect, and improve), but I'd be happy with knowing I made the best choices I could at the time of making them.

In that vein, that's how I'd interpret "do your best" too. I wasted a lot of time this year and probably didn't put forth the best work I know I could have, but I also know that, should I attempted to work more than I did, I would have burned out a lot faster and hated my work and been completely miserable. So yes, my best was absolutely watching episodes of Dr Who Confidential and tagging. Though, of course, there's always a balance between that and just procrastinating.

I bet you aren't a sucky student, but you've lost a bit of your motivation since moving away from home. I think that, now that you're on your own and responsible for most of your day-to-day actions, you might to examine what keeps you going, what you really like, and how to manage your time.

[crystal-sun396.livejournal.com]

oh man i have no brain right now but

♥ the way you put things

my life is shinier for your being in it